i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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