Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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