you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Randomize
