He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
