laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
