Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
