ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
