butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
