Only a mothe r could love this liver
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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