I must be too annoying 4 u.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
