I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
