i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
