Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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