every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
