I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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