ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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