I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Randomize
