Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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