Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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