the day after is always just damage control
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
