You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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