I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
