Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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