i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
