CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
