Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
