the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i've created a new STD.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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