And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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