I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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