I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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