It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
