D3 body, D1 cock
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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