just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
