Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize