READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
