I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
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