garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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