It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
