Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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