If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
