i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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