bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
