You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
