Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Who wears a wallet chain?!
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
