I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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