I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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