i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize