i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Be still, my beating vagina.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
