loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Please don't give away my fajitas
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