What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
