the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
