RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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