Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
