my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I have fence marks all over my body
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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