She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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