sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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