Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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