I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
