Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
