my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
