I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
