Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize