You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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