Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
