Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm đđ»đ
We are so blessed
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
His sex game is strong itâs like a warlordâs dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
