Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
