You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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