it wasn't lemon gatorade
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
