It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
