did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
