He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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