I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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