Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just high enough for therapy.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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