I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
