You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
