You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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